M* 5-4 City & Guilds

M* managed to finally overcome the league leaders City & Guilds in a titanic 5-4 nailbiter. Tom got himself a hat-trick, Newbs popped in out 4th and their keeper threw one in (literally!).

And just to make it all better, they turned into a whinging bunch of scummers after the game. I thought the scottish chap was going to turn as purple as his barnet as he launched into his team mates


Jo Sawyer has donned the press hat this week:

The view from the sidelines was sparse today so we had to make do with what was actually happening on the pitch. However 13:13 was the first sighting of a topless man, so the game started well. What follows is a blow-by-blow account of perhaps the most controversial game so far, especially in terms of language heard on and off the pitch. Enjoy.

13:13 Whitelaw shoots but misses.
13:15 near goal from City & Guilds (hereby referred to as C&G)
13:16 Newby falls over
13:17 Chris ‘let’s pass to the other team’ Elliott passes to the other team…
13:17 C&G score
13:18 Donovan shows off his ball skills with a skillful tackle
13:18 Newby strikes
13:19 Rouse runs out for a swift intervention (Greer’s words)
13:20 Whitelaw scores!!! Keeper caught in possession (Greer’s words)
13:21 The angry red-head Scot shall hereby be referred to as ARHS (pronounce it how you like, although I’d suggest ‘arse’) – standing for Angry Red Head Scot. However, we can’t decide who he looks like more – Sharon Osbourne, or a questionably female PE teacher. Anyway, he did a crap strike.
13:21 C&G keeper has butterfingers – Whitelaw scores!!!
13:23 Rouse – great save
13:23 Elliott showcases his flexibility by nearly doing the splits in the mouth of the goal (not the goalie’s mouth, thank god)
13:23 Whitelaw scores!!!

Half time – Rossi on, Pettit on, Elliott off, Newby off

13:27 Rossi passes to the ball to the keeper (their keeper, not ours)
13:28 They score.
13:29 Rossi demonstrates an impressive tackle
13:31 ARHS provides the crowd with an entertaining tirade of swear words, which clearly spurs them on…
13:31 They score, to the dulcet tones of ARHS screaming the now infamous “f*cking come on”.
13:31 Two goals in one minute…. Newby scores!!!
13:32 Three goals in two minutes….Whitelaw scores!!! He ‘twatted it in’, according to Katharine.
13:32 Penalty, they score. Game ends 5-4.