Where do we start?
It rained. We played well enough to get a draw after gifting a 2-0 half time lead. We then battered them in the second half but only had Dave Timothy's goal to show for our hard work.
Still top of the league, though. Next week we play City & Guilds who were second this morning (and could therefore only be behind us on GD if they won).
Del
28.9.07
26.9.07
Man the Barricades!
Ipreo FC return to action this week boosted by the signing of French international Phillipe Mampouya.
Dave Timothy, who also serves as Mampouya's agent, is keen to see his client in action, stating: "He speaks French and kind of looks like a cross between Thierry Henry and Aaron Lennon. How bad can he be?"
Indeed.
Come and find out for yourselves on Friday at 12:50pm.
Next Match - 28 September
Despite the loss of the leg-end that was Sean Robins and the absence of the psy-Crow, IpreoFC will be looking to continue their great start to the season this week.
Next match:
Date: 28 September 07
Time: 1250
Opposition: Redsox
Del.
Next match:
Date: 28 September 07
Time: 1250
Opposition: Redsox
Del.
21.9.07
Legend Robins Calls it a Day
Ipreo FC football legend Sean (The Electric Eel) Robins will be remembered for his dazzling skill on the pitch, and for his cider-fuelled lifestyle away from it.
Robins was a footballing genius. He had speed, superb dribbling skills, the ability to accelerate past players and was adept with both feet.
He is widely regarded as one of the greatest players to have graced the 5-a-side Friday Lunchtime Super League.
Unfortunately, the accompanying cider and playboy lifestyle degenerated into alcoholism, bankruptcy, a prison sentence and, eventually, a liver transplant.
Robins will be sorely missed both on & off the pitch. Ipreo FC's management wish him well in all his future endeavours.
Business as Usual for the Boys in Blue
By Tony Blizzard
As the weather turned typically British the Hemscott bandwagon rolled on in scintillating Samba style.
Todays trouncing of OAP side "The Corps" spelled the end of an era as Sean Robins said farewell to the Hemscott faithful, ushering in a period of total dominance in his wake. After some distasteful off-pitch antics David "Work-Rate" Ririe failed a fitness test and was replaced by the spritely Minh Kieu, and with Dave "the Peckham Prowler" arriving fashionably late the game started in earnest.
Speading the ball around like soft butter on a fresh bap Hemscott looked in tip-top shape. The lads had obviously been putting in the hours at the training ground as one of the Corps boys was heard to whimper "…please, a-a-abandon match.." whilst scurrying after a searching Minh Kieu pass. The deadlock was broken when, believe it or not, Hemscott's unsung hero Jamie "the cider chugging chubster" Donovan drilled a left-footed Scholes-like drive through a crowd into the keepers arms who then proceeded to roll over and throw the ball into his own net. As Ron Atkinson once said: "A ten foot keeper really should have stopped that". 1-0 to the Cockney Boys.
Now that Hemscott had stamped their authority all over the metaphorical cheque book stub of this footballing exhibition they really started to take the p*ss. Mink Kieu, resembling the Maradona, surged forward time and time again, carving the defense to ribbons. Inevitably the second goal arrived in the form of a super-jinking run from the Dave Timothy which culminated in a net bursting strike to the bottom corner. The Corps' keeper prayed for mercy. Unfortunately the Lord Almighty wasn't listening (reports suggest he is currently dealing with the indignity of a terrorism charge.)
Next came the moment of the match: after scything down a cocky opposing upstart Mink Kieu brought the ball down, looked up, smirked with arrogance and curled one off from the half way line, the crowd gasped in astonishment as the ball, seemingly pulled by a divine magnetic force towards the gaping goal, began to fly irrevocably into the top corner. But, alas it was not to be as the ball pinged off the post and into the keepers arms. A bystander with precision steelwork construction credentials commented "That goal is not to industry standards, I will not rest until that goal is allowed!" - our thoughts are with the guys family as he was tragically mowed down by a milk float as he ran across the road in a bid to inform the FA.
Anyway, Hemscott were now coasting and the half time whistle couldn't come a moment too early for the rapidly deteriorating Corps five. Sportingly the Hemscott boys signed autographs and performed an Irish jig on the centre circle. Michael Flatley described it as: "Great stuff".
The referees whistle signalled play on and the game continued in much the same way that it ended. The Corps central veteran defender appeared to be losing his patience when his two footed lunge left Sean Robins in a crumpled heap on the floor. What happened next can only be described as some sort of paranormal telepathy as Sean Robins cheekily pushed the ball back to Dave Timothy who, wearing his girlfriends trainers, powerfully drove the ball into the back of the net and chalked one more up on the board titled "Dave's lovely goals". The boys carried on working hard, offering a footballing masterclass to the mesmerised onlookers demonstrating textbook step-overs and back-heels you only normally see at Upton Park (disclaimer: T.Blizzard will not be held accountable for technical inaccuracies).
The fourth and arguably the best strike of the game came after a lightning fast Hemscott break away. As Dave Timothy carried the ball out to the right hand side of the pitch Sean Robins arrived to pick up DT's well placed backheel. With bags of time SR tipped up his collar and whispered "Au Revoir" before lacing the ball into the top-corner. EAT THAT! With the Corps well and truly beaten the fifth was only a matter of time. Once again Dave Timothy popped up in a defensive position, shimmied, faked, threw dummies left, right and centre and then buried the ball well out of reach of the despairing Corps goalie. Goodnight Vienna. Taking pity on the Corps players the referee blew for full time, ending what was a smashing soccer showdown, to quote Big Ron again: "They've done the old-fashioned things well; they've kicked the ball, they've headed it". The Hemscott keeper Chris Crow had little to do in this one-sided affair but good heavens was he looking hot!
Colin Greer who has been touted as the next Chelsea manager had this to say:
"Hot dang! That was some fine soccer! YEE HAW!!"
As the weather turned typically British the Hemscott bandwagon rolled on in scintillating Samba style.
Todays trouncing of OAP side "The Corps" spelled the end of an era as Sean Robins said farewell to the Hemscott faithful, ushering in a period of total dominance in his wake. After some distasteful off-pitch antics David "Work-Rate" Ririe failed a fitness test and was replaced by the spritely Minh Kieu, and with Dave "the Peckham Prowler" arriving fashionably late the game started in earnest.
Speading the ball around like soft butter on a fresh bap Hemscott looked in tip-top shape. The lads had obviously been putting in the hours at the training ground as one of the Corps boys was heard to whimper "…please, a-a-abandon match.." whilst scurrying after a searching Minh Kieu pass. The deadlock was broken when, believe it or not, Hemscott's unsung hero Jamie "the cider chugging chubster" Donovan drilled a left-footed Scholes-like drive through a crowd into the keepers arms who then proceeded to roll over and throw the ball into his own net. As Ron Atkinson once said: "A ten foot keeper really should have stopped that". 1-0 to the Cockney Boys.
Now that Hemscott had stamped their authority all over the metaphorical cheque book stub of this footballing exhibition they really started to take the p*ss. Mink Kieu, resembling the Maradona, surged forward time and time again, carving the defense to ribbons. Inevitably the second goal arrived in the form of a super-jinking run from the Dave Timothy which culminated in a net bursting strike to the bottom corner. The Corps' keeper prayed for mercy. Unfortunately the Lord Almighty wasn't listening (reports suggest he is currently dealing with the indignity of a terrorism charge.)
Next came the moment of the match: after scything down a cocky opposing upstart Mink Kieu brought the ball down, looked up, smirked with arrogance and curled one off from the half way line, the crowd gasped in astonishment as the ball, seemingly pulled by a divine magnetic force towards the gaping goal, began to fly irrevocably into the top corner. But, alas it was not to be as the ball pinged off the post and into the keepers arms. A bystander with precision steelwork construction credentials commented "That goal is not to industry standards, I will not rest until that goal is allowed!" - our thoughts are with the guys family as he was tragically mowed down by a milk float as he ran across the road in a bid to inform the FA.
Anyway, Hemscott were now coasting and the half time whistle couldn't come a moment too early for the rapidly deteriorating Corps five. Sportingly the Hemscott boys signed autographs and performed an Irish jig on the centre circle. Michael Flatley described it as: "Great stuff".
The referees whistle signalled play on and the game continued in much the same way that it ended. The Corps central veteran defender appeared to be losing his patience when his two footed lunge left Sean Robins in a crumpled heap on the floor. What happened next can only be described as some sort of paranormal telepathy as Sean Robins cheekily pushed the ball back to Dave Timothy who, wearing his girlfriends trainers, powerfully drove the ball into the back of the net and chalked one more up on the board titled "Dave's lovely goals". The boys carried on working hard, offering a footballing masterclass to the mesmerised onlookers demonstrating textbook step-overs and back-heels you only normally see at Upton Park (disclaimer: T.Blizzard will not be held accountable for technical inaccuracies).
The fourth and arguably the best strike of the game came after a lightning fast Hemscott break away. As Dave Timothy carried the ball out to the right hand side of the pitch Sean Robins arrived to pick up DT's well placed backheel. With bags of time SR tipped up his collar and whispered "Au Revoir" before lacing the ball into the top-corner. EAT THAT! With the Corps well and truly beaten the fifth was only a matter of time. Once again Dave Timothy popped up in a defensive position, shimmied, faked, threw dummies left, right and centre and then buried the ball well out of reach of the despairing Corps goalie. Goodnight Vienna. Taking pity on the Corps players the referee blew for full time, ending what was a smashing soccer showdown, to quote Big Ron again: "They've done the old-fashioned things well; they've kicked the ball, they've headed it". The Hemscott keeper Chris Crow had little to do in this one-sided affair but good heavens was he looking hot!
Colin Greer who has been touted as the next Chelsea manager had this to say:
"Hot dang! That was some fine soccer! YEE HAW!!"
Team News
The club would like to categorically dismiss all rumours that they face a player crisis following the suspension of Dave Ririe (please see earlier news story).
Although details are not yet being made available to the press, and a number of reserve team players have been put on standby, we would like to assure our fans that a full strength line up will be in place to play the Corps at 12.30 today (Friday 21 September, 2007).
Further team news to follow...
Ipreo FC reserve team, yesterday (from left to right): Sam Norris, Derek Rouse, Adrian Cooper, Ed Buckman
Although details are not yet being made available to the press, and a number of reserve team players have been put on standby, we would like to assure our fans that a full strength line up will be in place to play the Corps at 12.30 today (Friday 21 September, 2007).
Further team news to follow...
Ipreo FC reserve team, yesterday (from left to right): Sam Norris, Derek Rouse, Adrian Cooper, Ed Buckman
Can't Show Up for Work-Rate
Dave Ririe has been forced to withdraw from today's Sean Robins Testimonial after a night of debauchery at the annual IR Awards.
He has been suspended without pay by the club.
Executive Director of Football, Colin Greer, released the following statement:
"I would have expected this type of behaviour from Scott MacDonald - but not Work Rate. I am shocked and appalled at his behaviour and will personally speak to Ririe when he eventually shows up for work."
"Despite his absence, I am confident in our squad's ability and am sure they'll bring home all three points."
14.9.07
Ipreo FC 3 Vs DEL 2
Ipreo went back to the top of the Friday league after victory in what was ultimately a close game against a distinctly average DEL side.
The opening exchanges saw action at either end, with ‘Keeper Chris Crow making a few useful saves, and Dave DT Timothy opening up the DEL defence on more than one occasion. It was end to end stuff, but the deadlock was finally broken, when Chris Elliott managed to get on the end of a Sean Robins cross field ball, and from an acute angle, slotted home just inside the near post. The goal seemed to rock DEL, as Ipreo kept up the pressure, with all four outfield players contributing to some slick pass and move football. DT could have made it two after a darting run that saw him skip past three of the four DEL outfield players only to see his placed shot fall marginally wide. After this, DEL started to get back into the game, Crow pulling off some majestic stops in the Ipreo goal. It was therefore somewhat against the run of play that Ipreo went two up. Robins taking the ball straight from a clearance from Crow to score on what was his penultimate game for the “Scotties”.
Just before half time, DEL pulled one back, after their striker placed the ball into an empty net as a result of what was actually a good parry from Crow. At half time, the score was 2-1.
DEL started the second half the brighter, with a few of the Ipreo boys looking a little tired. DEL equalised through the worst player in the league, Francois, to rub salt into the wound and suddenly, from cruising at 2-0, it seemed Ipreo had it all to do to secure even a point!
The turning point came shortly after the goal in the guise of a magnificent stop from Crow in the Ipreo goal. Crow tipping the ball just over the bar. This seemed to spur Ipreo on and after two close strikes from DT, the game was finally won in bizarre fashion as DT’s third shot in succession ricochet off a DEL defender and past his own ‘keeper to gift Ipreo all three points. And it could have been 4, and maybe 5, as super sub Sam pushed two late drives wide and another agonisingly over the bar.
So it ended 3-2 and on the balance of it, the better team won, and rightfully retake our position at the top of the table.
The opening exchanges saw action at either end, with ‘Keeper Chris Crow making a few useful saves, and Dave DT Timothy opening up the DEL defence on more than one occasion. It was end to end stuff, but the deadlock was finally broken, when Chris Elliott managed to get on the end of a Sean Robins cross field ball, and from an acute angle, slotted home just inside the near post. The goal seemed to rock DEL, as Ipreo kept up the pressure, with all four outfield players contributing to some slick pass and move football. DT could have made it two after a darting run that saw him skip past three of the four DEL outfield players only to see his placed shot fall marginally wide. After this, DEL started to get back into the game, Crow pulling off some majestic stops in the Ipreo goal. It was therefore somewhat against the run of play that Ipreo went two up. Robins taking the ball straight from a clearance from Crow to score on what was his penultimate game for the “Scotties”.
Just before half time, DEL pulled one back, after their striker placed the ball into an empty net as a result of what was actually a good parry from Crow. At half time, the score was 2-1.
DEL started the second half the brighter, with a few of the Ipreo boys looking a little tired. DEL equalised through the worst player in the league, Francois, to rub salt into the wound and suddenly, from cruising at 2-0, it seemed Ipreo had it all to do to secure even a point!
The turning point came shortly after the goal in the guise of a magnificent stop from Crow in the Ipreo goal. Crow tipping the ball just over the bar. This seemed to spur Ipreo on and after two close strikes from DT, the game was finally won in bizarre fashion as DT’s third shot in succession ricochet off a DEL defender and past his own ‘keeper to gift Ipreo all three points. And it could have been 4, and maybe 5, as super sub Sam pushed two late drives wide and another agonisingly over the bar.
So it ended 3-2 and on the balance of it, the better team won, and rightfully retake our position at the top of the table.
11.9.07
Next match details
After a week off, the Ipreo massive will be looking to get back to winning ways this Friday. It's another early kick off this week.
Onwards. Upwards. And keep living the dream!
D
Kick Off = 12.05
Oppo = DEL
Onwards. Upwards. And keep living the dream!
D
Kick Off = 12.05
Oppo = DEL
3.9.07
Unbeaten run finally ends :-(
IPREO FC 1-2 NIG
This week's match report comes from the smoking keyboard of Mr Davey:
Riding high on our recent run of form & looking for an unprecedented 5th win in a row, we took on the boys from NIG with a very early 12:05pm start. It was also an early start for the goals, with Sean Robins slotting the ball in after just 10 seconds, to put us ahead with what must be our fastest goal ever!
In the absence of our star goal scorers from the last match (Dave “DT” Timothy and Dave “Workrate” Ririe) as well as our top goalkeeper Chris “The Crow”, the Ipreo boys put in a solid performance. With no substitutes available Jamie Donovan bravely played the full match despite originally requesting to only play the first half. Adam Rossi put in a strong performance and Paul “Newbs” Newby had one of his closest strikes at goal in recent times. Ed Buckman (making a welcome guest appearance in goal) was also in top form with some inspired saves.
Aggressive play from NIG gave the new referee (where was “chicken legs” today?) plenty to think about and ended in one of their boys being sent off for a spell in the ‘sin bin’. However, overall, NIG ground out the better game on the day putting away a goal in both halfs, and not even encouraging ‘toots’ on the Ipreo horn were enough to hold back what eventually became an inevitable defeat.
Post match insults sealed a lively match that ended our recent run of glory. It wasn’t the right day for a ‘bloggable’ post match team photo as the Ipreo boys retired despondently to the changing rooms.
This week's match report comes from the smoking keyboard of Mr Davey:
Riding high on our recent run of form & looking for an unprecedented 5th win in a row, we took on the boys from NIG with a very early 12:05pm start. It was also an early start for the goals, with Sean Robins slotting the ball in after just 10 seconds, to put us ahead with what must be our fastest goal ever!
In the absence of our star goal scorers from the last match (Dave “DT” Timothy and Dave “Workrate” Ririe) as well as our top goalkeeper Chris “The Crow”, the Ipreo boys put in a solid performance. With no substitutes available Jamie Donovan bravely played the full match despite originally requesting to only play the first half. Adam Rossi put in a strong performance and Paul “Newbs” Newby had one of his closest strikes at goal in recent times. Ed Buckman (making a welcome guest appearance in goal) was also in top form with some inspired saves.
Aggressive play from NIG gave the new referee (where was “chicken legs” today?) plenty to think about and ended in one of their boys being sent off for a spell in the ‘sin bin’. However, overall, NIG ground out the better game on the day putting away a goal in both halfs, and not even encouraging ‘toots’ on the Ipreo horn were enough to hold back what eventually became an inevitable defeat.
Post match insults sealed a lively match that ended our recent run of glory. It wasn’t the right day for a ‘bloggable’ post match team photo as the Ipreo boys retired despondently to the changing rooms.
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